Who is Dumber the Dog or the Owner?

Whenever faced with a dog owner who brags how smart their dog is I come back with a canned response:

"Man your kids must be really stupid if you think dogs are smart."

I've got nothing against dogs. I had a few growing up. One my dad won in a poker game. When people asked what kind of dog it was he said; "Poker". Sometimes people would ask "Where does your dog sleep?" Dad would reply : "How should I know, ask the dog."

I had another one that I paid $5 for which I think is a lot for an animal that will hump an old box in an attempt to reproduce. If you paid more than $5 for a dog, and you don't own sheep, you've probably got more money than sense. Not that that is bad, it's a good thing your income has been recycled back to someone living in a single wide who calls themselves a 'dog breeder'. The economy will turn that money over a few times: smokes at 7-11, a little crank, something from Seagram's, eventually it might even end up with someone who deserves it, or in China.

Anyway this week our idiot neighbor brought home a precious little Paris mutt:



















This was a fashion accessory every moron had to have five years ago. I think Taco Bell is offering $3 if you're looking to unload yours. Look for the new "string meat taco" this summer. These people are so freaking stupid that not only will they follow a fashion trend started by someone with an IQ in the 80's, they will do it five years late.

I can't wait for the dog shit smell. These chowder heads can't even keep up with the garbage the humans in the house make. I'll keep you updated on 'little precious'. My bet is they end up eating it.

Blazy America

I heard it again on the radio this morning on the way to work:

"With your busy schedule you need...blah-blah-blah-blah, to make your life easier and save you time."

"Save you time" That's advertising code for "Spend money on some overpriced useless gadget you don't need because you are too lazy to do it yourself".

Yes - lazy. We're not too busy, we're too lazy. I've started to call it 'blazy'. That is say you are too busy, when you are really too lazy - blazy.

The TV and radio blare on and on and on trying to convince us we are soooooo busy and don't have time. Time is precious, we have to spend money to save time. Time - we're busy. We're over scheduled. It' s become so common it's not even challenged. 'Our busy schedules' is just blurted out and we all shake our heads like sheep. "Yes we are busy, what should we buy now to save us time".

You know what though? We're not busy at all. Proof you say? I feel busy? Everyone tells me I'm busy? The man on the TV says so every 13 minutes in fact.

There's your proof. The average American spends 35 hours a week watching tv (1812 annually) and 34 hours a week working (1777 annually)! We spend more time on our ever enlarging asses watching TV than we do working. How in the world can we be busy when we spend 75 1/2 days a year watching television? Well we must be, the guy on the television says so.

The trend is getting worse. We're watching even more tv, getting even blazy'er.

Feel too busy? My simple advice - turn off the tv.



Sources:

http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/med_tel_vie-media-television-viewing

http://www.cnn.com/2009/SHOWBIZ/TV/02/24/us.video.nielsen/

http://www.tvb.org/rcentral/MediaTrendsTrack/tvbasics/09_TimeViewingPersons.asp

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Working_time

'Stand Behind Our Troops'

A posting was making its way around Facebook yesterday. It went:

"Post this as your status for one hour: ' stand behind our troops, if you don't stand behind them, feel free to stand in front of them!, make this your status for one hour and feel free to pass along to your friends."

There is so much just plain stupid and wrong with this I don't know where to start. First of all I have Swedish, Finnish, Brazilian, Canadian, English, Scots, Irish, Russian and German friends on my Facebook. Whose troops do they stand behind? Or in front of? And if it's not 'ours' does that then mean they should be 'in front' of ours? I like my English friends, they send me Mafia Wars gifts, why should I threaten their country with invasion?

Of course that wasn't the point. But then the point is hard to see isn't it? Maybe a better posting would have been : If you are an uneducated blow hard who wants to take the easy way out and still act like a bully post: "stand behind our troops" here.

I'll tell you what to do blow hard. Just what I did when I saw these obnoxious posts. First I went to a page that rated military focused charities. Then I selected one The National Military Family Organization that pledges to help the families of 'our troops'. Not some blow hard posting, but actually helping military families with kids do things like; go to school and summer camp and get flue shots, the real help they need. I pledged a small amount of $25.

Why don't you pledge $10-$25 dollars today and make your Facebook status "I gave $20 to support our troops and their families today did you?"